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All the Right Moves
(1983) |
5 /10 |
More wrong moves than right; old-school Tom Cruise with poorly shot
high school football scenes and a lackluster "athlete looking to leave
small town" story. Pales in comparison to Cruise's other '83 release,
Risky Business.
[English,
91min, R] |
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Arthur
(1981) |
5 /10 |
The real
question is whether Dudley Moore was actually plastered during the
making of this silly, uneven romantic comedy considering his titular
character is sober for only about 5 minutes of screen time.
Exploration of class divide and true love is pedestrian at best, with
laughs often forced and Liza Minnelli a questionable leading lady
(though refreshingly grounded). Moore's slur 'n' giggle act wears thin
by end, as dose the plot, which progressively contrives itself to the
brink of annoyance.
[English,
97min, PG] |
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AP3: Goldmember
(2002) |
5 /10 |
Amazingly
uneven; paper thin plot runs on fumes from past two movies while
recycling jokes (yet again), nearly abandoning supporting characters,
and including ridiculously stupid scenes. However, opening sequence is
lots of fun and good laughs are sprinkled throughout, but originality
and spy movie parody is long gone.
[English,
94min, PG-13] |
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Barbershop
(2002) |
5 /10 |
Spike Lee lite;
Ice Cube fairs well in this so-so dramedy that takes on controversial issues in
prime time sitcom fashion. Nice to see a predominately black cast not stripped
down to jobless pot smokers (as in Ice Cube's
other
movies) but representing a slice of urban life in this
manner has been done many times over (ex:
Do the Right Thing).
Cedric the Entertainer stands out with some funny, and at times enlightening
monologues.
[English, 102min,
PG-13] |
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BASEketball
(1998) |
5.5
/10 |
Rather
tame for “everything goes” mentality in post-Scary Movie era,
this Zucker brainchild finds tone-perfect cast (lead by South Park’s
Parker n’ Stone) to comment on over commercialization of professional
sports. Best wit occurs early on, as in opening narration, before
satire succumbs to silly slapstick; exploration of fictitious game is
sadly limited. Stealing spotlight are great cameos by Bob Costas and
Al Michaels as uninhibited announcers.
[Spanish,
103min, R] |
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Behind Enemy Lines
(2001) |
5.5 /10 |
Try "behind
a bad script." Laughably poor at times but
sharp on style with
some creatively entertaining action sequences. Features an Adidas
jump-suit wearing sniper with perhaps the worst aim in film history.
[English,
106min, PG-13] |
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Big Trouble
(2002) |
5 /10 |
Waste of
talented cast and another dud for Tim Allen (a Home Improvement
reunion must be looking real good now). Airport security jokes fall
flat post-9/11, but that doesn't excuse the rest of the movie's
sporadic comedy.
[English,
85min, PG-13] |
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Clockstoppers
(2002) |
5 /10 |
What really should have been stopped was this movie in pre-production.
Premise would work much better as an adult action movie; hot girl in
this just teases the potential of frozen-time sex scenes. First kids
movie with "Matrix-effects" as main attraction.
[English,
94min, PG-13] |
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Code 46
(2003 |
5 /10 |
Social drama examining
class division in Gattaca-esk genetically engineered society
gets points for authentically grounded depiction of future world
without over reliance on gimmicky gadgets. Unfortunately, Tim Robbins
and Samantha Morton (normally impressive) are swallowed up by bland,
uneventful storyline, unnecessarily complicated legal minutia, and
emotional detachment from central characters. Interesting use of POV
camera angles and Spanish/English hybrid language.
[English, 92min, R] |
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Drumline
(2002) |
5 /10 |
Unique
concept of competitive African American marching bands fails to
disguise highly formulaic "feel-good" plot relying on Rocky-style clichés and
predictably resolvable conflicts. Closing college band face-off
features an amazing display of musicianship, though failure to established
rules cheapens outcome. Orlando Jones surprises with successful dramatic
turn, overshadowing Nick Cannon's arrogant prodigal drummer.
[English,
118min, PG-13] |
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Duck Soup
(1933) |
5 /10 |
First
exposure to Marx Bros. is this disappointing war parody. Brand of
humor is grating, especially Harpo who is as aggravating as a
4 year old with A.D.D. Groucho Marx shoots out disconnected one liners like
there's no tomorrow, sometimes hitting, many times just annoying. Best aspects
are over-the-top music numbers (as in Mel Brook's early work) and classic,
much imitated mirror sequence.
Dr. Strangelove
commented on similar subject with
much more laughs.
[English,
68min, NR] |
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The Fortune Cookie (1966) |
5
/10 |
A simple, entertaining
premise about ill-judged insurance scam is made tedious by unnecessary plot
repetition and excessive running time. Noteworthy for successful ying-yang
pairing of Lemmon and Matthau, the latter particularly good as speed talking
shyster lawyer, though his highly unlikable character taints upbeat mood. Also
leaving bad taste is subplot involving football player made care-giver with
uncomfortable racist undertones.
[English, 125min,
NR] |
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Ghosts of the Abyss
(2003) |
5.5 /10 |
Not probing enough a
documentary to have true educational value and not visually stunning enough
to be pure eye candy, it remains a Titanic themed testing ground for
impressive new 3-D technology. Falters mostly in second half, relying
heavily on 2-D images, skimmed over history lessons, and a contrived
suspense sequence. Bill Paxton under-whelms as narrator, frequently spouting
overly pretentious lines to elevate onscreen footage.
[English, 59min, PG] |
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The Girlfriend Experience
(2009) |
5
/10 |
Late in
Soderbergh's most recent Indie experiment, adult star Sasha Grey's character
is criticized for her "flat affect, lack of culture, and utter refusal to
engage", which is unfortunately all true. Grey is simply not convincing as
high-class escort Chelsea, despite promise in her attractive, expressive face.
Broken chronology here feels unnecessary and much touted stabs at current
economic crisis amount to nothing more than superficial observation (already
heard ad nauseam on 24 news).
[English, 78min, R] 5/09 |
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Happy Gilmore
(1996) |
5.5
/10 |
First generation Sandler, here perfecting his "screaming angry act" as failed hockey player
turned extraordinary golfer. Highlights include misfortunes of one handed
Carl Weather, Kevin Nealon's Zen-like advice, and of course, Happy's wild
golf course antics. Christopher McDonald is also lots of fun as rival golfer
Shooter McGavin, along with Ben Stiller in a pre-big time success role.
Ultimately too stupid for it's own good, but worth a few laughs along
the way.
[English,
166min, R] |
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Heaven
(2002) |
5
/10 |
Greatly disappointing follow up by
Tom Tykwer, who makes "Spielberg attempting Kubrick" mistake of taking on a
deceased director’s script. Opening sequence of botched revenge is well
crafted and following interrogation scene features a superb moment of acting
from Cate Blanchett. Unfortunately, rest of film (while beautifully shot)
hangs on pretentious symbolism, sparse subtext drenched dialogue, and one
hugely unconvincing love story.
[English, 96min, R] |
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Husbands and Wives
(1992) |
5 /10 |
Dreary, whinny
Woody Allen relationship drama that covers middle age crisis territory,
specifically olden men leaving wives for younger women. Some funny, witty
scenes for sure, but Judy Davis' character is so aggravatingly neurotic she
puts Allen to shame and documentary style, hand-held camera approach ranges
from aesthetically unattractive to downright distracting. Watching unhappy
couples for over an hour becomes tedious, though a young Juliette Lewis
impresses as a cunning college student.
[English,
108min, R] |
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I Spy (2002) |
5
/10 |
for nearly 3/4s this
is a surprisingly entertaining secret agent farce with some good comic
chemistry between Wilson and Murphy. Then the screenwriter engages
self-destruct (if you've seen the movie, no pun intended) with a twist that
obliterates the carefree mood, leaves the characters reacting all wrong, and
then expects the audience to still laugh. Last stretch has some OK jokes,
but it's endless, stupid twists and anticlimactic resolution make this a
painful "coulda been" failure.
[English,
97min, PG-13] |
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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
(2001) |
5 /10 |
More like
Jay and Silent Bob in This Is Completely Stupid. Cult-favorite Kevin
Smith follows up his most clever and successful
effort yet (in Dogma) with a lowest common denominator comedy that
spot-lights his two least compelling characters (who, for the record, had no
business appearing in Chasing Amy). Attempt at
View
Askewniverse "best-of"
feels forced though insider jabs at Hollywood connect.
[English, 104min, R] |
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Love Story
(1970) |
5.5 /10 |
Only memorable for music score and ultra-melodramatic line (albeit highly
repeated): "love means never having to say you're sorry"...which,
incidentally, is bull excrement. Acting from Ali McGraw & Ryan O'Neal is adequate
until tragedy strikes, where neither has the intensity to successfully
pull off potentially potent emotional moments - bed side death scene is painful
for all the wrong reasons.
[English,
99min, PG] |
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A Mighty Wind
(2003) |
5.5 /10 |
Guest fails
to achieve comedic synergy of last two outings, atypically holding back when
allowed to mock his character's unusual traits. Clever and outright funny
bits of dialogue spawned from improve-style are stifled by long stretches of
drama (touching as it may be), Eugene Levy’s painful screen-hog overacting,
and tendency towards skillful emulation rather than parody. As in Best in
Show, Fred Willard’s obnoxious comments bring biggest laughs.
[English,
91min, PG-13] |
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The Mothman Prophecies
(2002) |
5 /10 |
Interesting premise that becomes increasingly unfocused (and
stylistically overdone) before finishing with a well done finale.
Richard Gere
is surprisingly good (in fact, much better than movie calls for) but
story never has a firm grip on it's ultimate
goal.
[English,
119min, PG-13] |
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One False Move
(1991) |
5
/10 |
Unlikable characters, near-gratuitous graphic violence, illogical plot points,
and an overly ambiguous ending leave much to be desired. Only really bright
spot is Bill Paxton's performance. Billy Bob Thornton also appears in an
early-career role.
[English, 105min, R] |
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Orange County
(2001) |
5
/10 |
Absolutely mediocre
teen-comedy with obligatory cop-out happy
ending, notable only for first staring role of Tom Hank's son Colin (who
doesn't posses full-fledged charm of father..yet). A wired Jack Black and a few surprising cameos can't make this anything
special. [English,
82min, PG-13] |
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Quills
(2000) |
5 /10 |
Not even the great
Geoffrey Rush and Kate Winslet can elevate this dull, overlong, dreary tale of
1800's pornographic writer Marquis de Sade. Authentic customs, good set
design, and good performances, but not a single likable character to make the
story bearable.
[English, 124min, R] |
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Reign of Fire (2002) |
5.5
/10 |
Mad Max meets dragon fantasy in this disappointing apocalyptic tale.
Takes itself too seriously for B-movie fun; special effects range from
spectacular to shabby. Sky diving sequence only hints at thrill ride movie
could have been. Bale and McConaughey (obviously having fun in over-the-top
role) fair well considering
underwritten roles. [English, 101min,
PG-13] |
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Sea of Love
(1989) |
5 /10 |
Basic Instinct,
minus the explicit sex, gratuitous violence, clever story line, and
ambiguous ending: everything that made it a good, steamy thriller. Sleazy,
white trashin’ Barkin is NO Sharon Stone, but Pacino is fresh as
self-conscious veteran cop on tail of personal ad reading serial killer.
Places far too much weight on relationship angle, nearly discarding murder
mystery plot until laughable Scooby Doo grade resolution. Titular
song is used superfluously.
[English,
112min, R] |
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The Searchers (1956) |
5 /10 |
Overrated Western
has John Wayne as thoroughly unsympathetic ex-Confederate solider on obsessive
5 year search for his Indian abducted niece. Authenticity of time period is
marred by dated conventions (eg: brown-faced white actor as Comanche Chief),
and misguided humor, making more serious plot elements unfold
unconvincingly. Hunter and rest of supporting cast are decent, but
deliberately paced premise pushes patience too far. [English,
119min, NR] |
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S1m0ne
(2002) |
5 /10 |
Misfired attempt to satirize overblown Hollywood actors and the public
that adores them. Features one of the most aggravatingly unrealistic
computer programs I have ever seen in a movie! Pacino is unimpressive
in a role that could have been played by...well, a digital actor.
[English,
117min, PG-13] |
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Spy Game
(2001) |
5 /10 |
Don't ask me
what happened during this movie because I have no
idea
(granted I wasn't in the best viewing mindset). All I know is that the camera
moved
around
fast a lot and I was frequently reminded of the time via freeze frame.
Tony Scott's last film before perfecting his patented "chaos vision." [English,
126min, R] |
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Storytelling
(2001) |
5 /10 |
Big let down for Todd Solandz
after excellent Happiness, with highlight a surprise extra-edgy performance
from
Selma Blair (the sex scene is a shocker). Story is divided in two parts, first of which is most
intriguing but gets skimped on screen time. The remaining half,
surrounding a documentary filmmaker and a dysfunctional family, meanders through what could have been an interesting premise.
[English,
87min, R] |
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Talk To Her
(2002) |
5 /10 |
Highly misleading
marketing never hints at off putting subject matter: two emotionally disturbed
men develop friendship in a hospital, each in love with a comatose woman. One
is a gay male nurse, who’s obsession with his patient leads to a bizarre
revelation, ultimately destroying sympathy for either character. Only a self
contained, visually inspired sex scene truly works, leaving the rest an
unsatisfying attempt at difficult drama.
[Spanish, 112min, R] |
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