RATED 5

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All the Right Moves

Arthur

AP3: Goldmember

Barbershop

BASEketball

Behind Enemy Lines

Big Trouble

Clockstoppers

Code 46

Drumline

Duck Soup

Fortune Cookie, The

Ghosts of the Abyss

Girlfriend Experience, The

Happy Gilmore

Heaven

Husbands and Wives

 

I Spy

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Love Story

Mighty Wind, A

Mothman Prophecies, The

One False Move

Orange County

Quills

Reign of Fire

Sea of Love

Searchers, The

S1m0ne

Spy Game

Storytelling

Talk To Her

REVIEW SCORE:     10     9      8      7      6      5      4     3      2     1     0

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All the Right Moves  (1983)      

5 /10

More wrong moves than right; old-school Tom Cruise with poorly shot high school football scenes and a lackluster "athlete looking to leave small town" story. Pales in comparison to Cruise's other '83 release, Risky Business.  [English, 91min, R]

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Arthur  (1981)      

5 /10

The real question is whether Dudley Moore was actually plastered during the making of this silly, uneven romantic comedy considering his titular character is sober for only about 5 minutes of screen time. Exploration of class divide and true love is pedestrian at best, with laughs often forced and Liza Minnelli a questionable leading lady (though refreshingly grounded). Moore's slur 'n' giggle act wears thin by end, as dose the plot, which progressively contrives itself to the brink of annoyance.  [English, 97min, PG]

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AP3: Goldmember  (2002)      

5 /10

Amazingly uneven; paper thin plot runs on fumes from past two movies while recycling jokes (yet again), nearly abandoning supporting characters, and including ridiculously stupid scenes. However, opening sequence is lots of fun and good laughs are sprinkled throughout, but originality and spy movie parody is long gone.  [English, 94min, PG-13]

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Barbershop  (2002)      

5 /10

Spike Lee lite; Ice Cube fairs well in this so-so dramedy that takes on controversial issues in prime time sitcom fashion. Nice to see a predominately black cast not stripped down to jobless pot smokers (as in Ice Cube's other movies) but representing a slice of urban life in this manner has been done many times over (ex: Do the Right Thing). Cedric the Entertainer stands out with some funny, and at times enlightening monologues.  [English, 102min, PG-13]

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BASEketball  (1998)      

5.5 /10

Rather tame for “everything goes” mentality in post-Scary Movie era, this Zucker brainchild finds tone-perfect cast (lead by South Park’s Parker n’ Stone) to comment on over commercialization of professional sports. Best wit occurs early on, as in opening narration, before satire succumbs to silly slapstick; exploration of fictitious game is sadly limited. Stealing spotlight are great cameos by Bob Costas and Al Michaels as uninhibited announcers.  [Spanish, 103min, R]

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Behind Enemy Lines  (2001)      

5.5 /10

Try "behind a bad script." Laughably poor at times but sharp on style with some creatively entertaining action sequences. Features an Adidas jump-suit wearing sniper with perhaps the worst aim in film history.  [English, 106min, PG-13]

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Big Trouble  (2002)      

5 /10

Waste of talented cast and another dud for Tim Allen (a Home Improvement reunion must be looking real good now). Airport security jokes fall flat post-9/11, but that doesn't excuse the rest of the movie's sporadic comedy.   [English, 85min, PG-13]

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Clockstoppers  (2002)

5 /10

What really should have been stopped was this movie in pre-production. Premise would work much better as an adult action movie; hot girl in this just teases the potential of frozen-time sex scenes. First kids movie with "Matrix-effects" as main attraction.  [English, 94min, PG-13]

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Code 46  (2003   

5 /10

Social drama examining class division in Gattaca-esk genetically engineered society gets points for authentically grounded depiction of future world without over reliance on gimmicky gadgets. Unfortunately, Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton (normally impressive) are swallowed up by bland, uneventful storyline, unnecessarily complicated legal minutia, and emotional detachment from central characters. Interesting use of POV camera angles and Spanish/English hybrid language.  [English, 92min, R]

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Drumline  (2002)      

5 /10

Unique concept of competitive African American marching bands fails to disguise highly formulaic "feel-good" plot relying on Rocky-style clichés and predictably resolvable conflicts. Closing college band face-off  features an amazing display of musicianship, though failure to established rules cheapens outcome. Orlando Jones surprises with successful dramatic turn, overshadowing Nick Cannon's arrogant prodigal drummer.  [English, 118min, PG-13]

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Duck Soup  (1933)      

5 /10

First exposure to Marx Bros. is this disappointing war parody. Brand of humor is grating, especially Harpo who is as aggravating as a 4 year old with A.D.D. Groucho Marx shoots out disconnected one liners like there's no tomorrow, sometimes hitting, many times just annoying. Best aspects are over-the-top music numbers (as in Mel Brook's early work) and classic, much imitated mirror sequence. Dr. Strangelove commented on similar subject with much more laughs.  [English, 68min, NR]

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The Fortune Cookie  (1966)      

5 /10

A simple, entertaining premise about ill-judged insurance scam is made tedious by unnecessary plot repetition and excessive running time. Noteworthy for successful ying-yang pairing of Lemmon and Matthau, the latter particularly good as speed talking shyster lawyer, though his highly unlikable character taints upbeat mood. Also leaving bad taste is subplot involving football player made care-giver with uncomfortable racist undertones.  [English, 125min, NR]

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Ghosts of the Abyss  (2003)      

5.5 /10

Not probing enough a documentary to have true educational value and not visually stunning enough to be pure eye candy, it remains a Titanic themed testing ground for impressive new 3-D technology. Falters mostly in second half, relying heavily on 2-D images, skimmed over history lessons, and a contrived suspense sequence. Bill Paxton under-whelms as narrator, frequently spouting overly pretentious lines to elevate onscreen footage. [English, 59min, PG]

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The Girlfriend Experience  (2009)      

5 /10

Late in Soderbergh's most recent Indie experiment, adult star Sasha Grey's character is criticized for her "flat affect, lack of culture, and utter refusal to engage", which is unfortunately all true. Grey is simply not convincing as high-class escort Chelsea, despite promise in her attractive, expressive face. Broken chronology here feels unnecessary and much touted stabs at current economic crisis amount to nothing more than superficial observation (already heard ad nauseam on 24 news).  [English, 78min, R]  5/09

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Happy Gilmore  (1996)      

5.5 /10

First generation Sandler, here perfecting his "screaming angry act" as failed hockey player turned extraordinary golfer. Highlights include misfortunes of one handed Carl Weather, Kevin Nealon's Zen-like advice, and of course, Happy's wild golf course antics. Christopher McDonald is also lots of fun as rival golfer Shooter McGavin, along with Ben Stiller in a pre-big time success role. Ultimately too stupid for it's own good, but worth a few laughs along the way.  [English, 166min, R]

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Heaven  (2002)      

5 /10

Greatly disappointing follow up by Tom Tykwer, who makes "Spielberg attempting Kubrick" mistake of taking on a deceased director’s script. Opening sequence of botched revenge is well crafted and following interrogation scene features a superb moment of acting from Cate Blanchett. Unfortunately, rest of film (while beautifully shot) hangs on pretentious symbolism, sparse subtext drenched dialogue, and one hugely unconvincing love story.  [English, 96min, R]

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Husbands and Wives  (1992)

5 /10

Dreary, whinny Woody Allen relationship drama that covers middle age crisis territory, specifically olden men leaving wives for younger women. Some funny, witty scenes for sure, but Judy Davis' character is so aggravatingly neurotic she puts Allen to shame and documentary style, hand-held camera approach ranges from aesthetically unattractive to downright distracting. Watching unhappy couples for over an hour becomes tedious, though a young Juliette Lewis impresses as a cunning college student.  [English, 108min, R]

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I Spy  (2002)      

5 /10

for nearly 3/4s this is a surprisingly entertaining secret agent farce with some good comic chemistry between Wilson and Murphy. Then the screenwriter engages self-destruct (if you've seen the movie, no pun intended) with a twist that obliterates the carefree mood, leaves the characters reacting all wrong, and then expects the audience to still laugh. Last stretch has some OK jokes, but it's endless, stupid twists and anticlimactic resolution make this a painful "coulda been" failure.   [English, 97min, PG-13]

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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back  (2001)      

5 /10

More like Jay and Silent Bob in This Is Completely Stupid. Cult-favorite Kevin Smith follows up his most clever and successful effort yet (in Dogma) with a lowest common denominator comedy that spot-lights his two least compelling characters (who, for the record, had no business appearing in Chasing Amy). Attempt at View Askewniverse "best-of" feels forced though insider jabs at Hollywood connect.  [English, 104min, R]

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Love Story  (1970)

5.5 /10

Only memorable for music score and ultra-melodramatic line (albeit highly repeated): "love means never having to say you're sorry"...which, incidentally, is bull excrement. Acting from Ali McGraw & Ryan O'Neal is adequate until tragedy strikes, where neither has the intensity to successfully pull off potentially potent emotional moments - bed side death scene is painful for all the wrong reasons.  [English, 99min, PG]

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A Mighty Wind  (2003)      

5.5 /10

Guest fails to achieve comedic synergy of last two outings, atypically holding back when allowed to mock his character's unusual traits. Clever and outright funny bits of dialogue spawned from improve-style are stifled by long stretches of drama (touching as it may be), Eugene Levy’s painful screen-hog overacting, and tendency towards skillful emulation rather than parody. As in Best in Show, Fred Willard’s obnoxious comments bring biggest laughs. [English, 91min, PG-13]

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The Mothman Prophecies  (2002)      

5 /10

Interesting premise that becomes increasingly unfocused (and stylistically overdone) before finishing with a well done finale. Richard Gere is surprisingly good (in fact, much better than movie calls for) but story never has a firm grip on it's ultimate goal.  [English, 119min, PG-13]

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One False Move  (1991)            

5 /10

Unlikable characters, near-gratuitous graphic violence, illogical plot points, and an overly ambiguous ending leave much to be desired. Only really bright spot is Bill Paxton's performance. Billy Bob Thornton also appears in an early-career role.  [English, 105min, R]

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Orange County  (2001)            

5 /10

Absolutely mediocre teen-comedy with obligatory cop-out happy ending, notable only for first staring role of Tom Hank's son Colin (who doesn't posses full-fledged charm of father..yet). A wired Jack Black and a few surprising cameos can't make this anything special.  [English, 82min, PG-13]

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Quills  (2000)      

5 /10

Not even the great Geoffrey Rush and Kate Winslet can elevate this dull, overlong, dreary tale of 1800's pornographic writer Marquis de Sade. Authentic customs, good set design, and good performances, but not a single likable character to make the story bearable.  [English, 124min, R]

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Reign of Fire  (2002)            

5.5 /10

Mad Max meets dragon fantasy in this disappointing apocalyptic tale. Takes itself too seriously for B-movie fun; special effects range from spectacular to shabby. Sky diving sequence only hints at thrill ride movie could have been. Bale and McConaughey (obviously having fun in over-the-top role) fair well considering underwritten roles.   [English, 101min, PG-13]

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Sea of Love  (1989)      

5 /10

Basic Instinct, minus the explicit sex, gratuitous violence, clever story line, and ambiguous ending: everything that made it a good, steamy thriller. Sleazy, white trashin’ Barkin is NO Sharon Stone, but Pacino is fresh as self-conscious veteran cop on tail of personal ad reading serial killer. Places far too much weight on relationship angle, nearly discarding murder mystery plot until laughable Scooby Doo grade resolution. Titular song is used superfluously.  [English, 112min, R]

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The Searchers  (1956)      

5 /10

Overrated Western has John Wayne as thoroughly unsympathetic ex-Confederate solider on obsessive 5 year search for his Indian abducted niece. Authenticity of time period is marred by dated conventions (eg: brown-faced white actor as Comanche Chief), and misguided humor, making more serious plot elements unfold unconvincingly. Hunter and rest of supporting cast are decent, but deliberately paced premise pushes patience too far.  [English, 119min, NR]

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S1m0ne  (2002)      

5 /10

Misfired attempt to satirize overblown Hollywood actors and the public that adores them. Features one of the most aggravatingly unrealistic computer programs I have ever seen in a movie! Pacino is unimpressive in a role that could have been played by...well, a digital actor.  [English, 117min, PG-13]

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Spy Game (2001)      

5 /10

Don't ask me what happened during this movie because I have no idea (granted I wasn't in the best viewing mindset). All I know is that the camera moved around fast a lot and I was frequently reminded of the time via freeze frame. Tony Scott's last film before perfecting his patented "chaos vision."  [English, 126min, R]

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Storytelling  (2001)      

5 /10

Big let down for Todd Solandz after excellent Happiness, with highlight a surprise extra-edgy performance from Selma Blair (the sex scene is a shocker). Story is divided in two parts, first of which is most intriguing but gets skimped on screen time. The remaining half, surrounding a documentary filmmaker and a dysfunctional family, meanders through what could have been an interesting premise.  [English, 87min, R]

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Talk To Her  (2002)      

5 /10

Highly misleading marketing never hints at off putting subject matter: two emotionally disturbed men develop friendship in a hospital, each in love with a comatose woman. One is a gay male nurse, who’s obsession with his patient leads to a bizarre revelation, ultimately destroying sympathy for either character. Only a self contained, visually inspired sex scene truly works, leaving the rest an unsatisfying attempt at difficult drama.  [Spanish, 112min, R]

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